Have you ever gone through a phase that forced you into starting over from scratch?
Don’t worry. It happens to everyone.
Luckily, we can learn from those who have gone before us. In this guest post from Jeffrey Pickett, you’ll learn how to minimize the suffering that comes from rebooting your life and how to get back on your feet in the best possible manner.
Three Reasons Why Starting Over Is So Painful
Starting over can be painful. You’d love to blame others, but after close analysis, you realize it all points back to the person looking at you in the mirror.
Our careers, like cars, were meant to go forward most if not all of the time. No one likes to go in reverse. It takes more attention, more focus and more detail. Starting over means you need to back up before you can go forward.
Finally, starting over sucks because self-doubts creep in the back door, playing with your mind. The sky is no longer blue, the chirping birds are dead, and someone pulled the chain, diminishing the once bright sunlight.
Take heart, my friends, because it just so happens I am the self-proclaimed big deal in the world of starting over. Allow me to prove it to you…
Why You Should Forgive But Don’t Forget
In a previous relationship, well perhaps several, the occasion to try and make things work occurred a few times too many. The bottom eventually fell out and I beat myself up for letting things go on as long as I did.
That guy on the street with the “The End is Near” sign was right all along. I just wouldn’t listen.
When you make mistakes, learn from the event, forgive yourself and move on. Looking in the rearview mirror only serves to cause pain. Learn the lesson and move forward.
Forgive while you’re at it. Holding anger or resentment towards another only sets you up for failure. Let go of the attachment to anger.
Wouldn’t It Be Cool If You Could Be Superman?
I think I’d ditch the cape myself, but having superpowers and flying around would be awesome, right?
Well, back in reality-world, that doesn’t work. You can only be yourself.
That’s not totally correct.
Humans have this unique ability to recognize who they are and change. We can go back to school, join a gym or even seek therapy if necessary.
With effort, we can become a better version of ourselves.
An important facet to starting over means you have to be willing to change any aspect of your life that no longer works. Ultimately, you can only change yourself; you have no power to change anyone else.
That common definition of insanity (dare I repeat it?) is accurate – to avoid more mistakes, change that which is in you versus what you have no control over.
What To Do When The World Turns Upside Down
Whenever your world upside down, forcing you to start over, a vital lesson should be at the forefront of your brain.
The way we see things may not be the best perspective.
You can’t mold the world to your point of view, but you can shift your perspective.
Recently I went hiking with my wife. Just when the trail appeared to dead-end, I’d take one more step, and my perspective changed.
The opening was there all along; I just needed a few more steps.
How To Get More Done With Less Effort
I love running. I used to train five to six days a week, running up to 15 miles on some days. But I could never improve my race times.
One day, a friend of mine introduced me to running sprints instead of running long distances. I did as he suggested and my race times came down even though I ran shorter training distances.
Another example involves my garage that needed some fix-up. A friend offered to help, someone with a lot more experience than I. But my pride got the best of me. I thought I’d do it myself.
You can guess what happened.
I ripped up most of my work, I cut my thumb open, and my kids learned a new curse word from my repeated frustrations. If only I would have invited the help and pushed away my pride…
See the difference? I just needed to change my approach.
I Lied – You CAN Be Superman!
You just have to do one thing before you begin starting over.
You have to learn a new skill. Maybe you need a better memorization technique…
A potential reason you are in need of starting over is that as hard as it may sound, you may lack the resources to get the job done. Before starting over, research your topic of interest or situation, gain the extra knowledge and get back into the fight.
The Real Reason It’s Better to Give And Not Deceive
The world operates differently these days. You used to be able to ask for favors. But now it’s all about, “What Have You Done For Me Lately?”
That’s not all bad.
Instead of looking out for good ol’ #1, start over with an effort to provide value. Do things for others. Show the world you want to add versus subtract. Don’t provide something with the apparent reason you just want something in return.
Give with the intention of helping. If you’re lucky (and genuine), then the gifts will come back. Give your work away.
Giving is good for the soul. It’s good for your health, too.
Speaking of giving, I have a self-titled website where I give as much of my experiences as I can write down. I’m focusing on health these days, so if you’d like to improve your health and lose some weight in the process, check out my free guide.
Well, now you know of my experiences in starting over. I’d love to hear yours. I’ll bet they are the type of stories Jimmy Fallon/Kimmel would feature! Share what happened and what you did to get over it and I’ll see you in the comments.